How to Know if He Is Just Using You
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Being in a human relationship is difficult work – withal also then rewarding.
Yous know y'all like the guy, a lot, only you're starting to have doubts about his intentions.
Whether you've been with him for 1 year or five years, it's normal for these thoughts to pitter-patter in at times in our relationship.
Something just feels…off.
If yous're wondering whether he is using y'all, we're here to give y'all the signs y'all should be looking out for.
If whatever of them ring truthful for yous and your human relationship, information technology'due south time to run. Don't walk, run and become yourself out of that toxic human relationship.
Why might he be using y'all?
If you lot have a suspicion that your guy is using you lot, i of the first questions you might find yourself asking is: why?
Why is he using me?
Unfortunately, in that location's no straight answer for this one. A guy might exist using you for a whole range of different reasons.
Hither are some of the more common ones:
- He's only in it for sex. Some guys simply don't want a committed human relationship merely are quite happy to proceed coming back for sex activity. They might be chatting to multiple women at once.
- He's after the coin. Exercise yous detect yourself paying for him a lot more than he pays for y'all? And supporting him financially? He might merely be in it for the cash boost.
- He'south after an ego boost. Some guys simply similar to have a pretty daughter hanging off their arms. Information technology gives their ego a good boost, fifty-fifty if they aren't interested in a relationship.
- He's trying to make some other girl jealous: this one can sting a little. When he's using you to get to some other girl and make her jealous of your relationship.
At that place are and so many different reasons a guy might be using y'all. None are better than the terminal.
The all-time matter yous can do is choice it up early and leave of that human relationship equally fast as possible. Yous deserve much more than that.
Here are 21 big signs he'due south using you lot
1) Your telephone only lights upwardly later nighttime
He's either a vampire who only comes out at night, or he's using yous for sexual practice. Texting but at night to meet upwards is the classic sign of a booty call.
This one is like shooting fish in a barrel to test out. Ship him a message asking to meet up earlier in the twenty-four hour period and see what he says. You'll take a clear answer direct away.
If he says he'southward busy or comes up with a number of excuses, take them for exactly what they are: excuses. The uncomplicated fact is, he doesn't want to encounter you during the solar day. He's after just one affair.
2) He doesn't open up to yous
OK, OK, guys are super talkative by nature (at least near aren't). But if he avoids talking to you lot at all costs, then information technology'southward likely because he doesn't want to get shut.
Test information technology by asking him some questions:
- Where did y'all grow up?
- How many siblings practise you accept?
- Did you lot all get along growing up?
Pay attention to his answers. Does he offer one-discussion answers without going into particular? Does he attempt and avoid certain topics altogether? Siblings are well-nigh as personal as it gets – if he's avoiding this one, he's fugitive getting close to you.
A simple question about what he'south getting up to on the weekend could exist enough to become him to shut downward. Take these are warning signs and run.
3) Want advice specific to your situation?
While this commodity explores the most common signs he's using you, it tin be helpful to speak to a relationship bus nigh your state of affairs.
With a professional human relationship coach, you can become advice specific to your life and your experiences…
Human relationship Hero is a site where highly trained human relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations, like being in a ane-sided relationship. They're a very popular resources for people facing this sort of claiming.
How do I know?
Well, I reached out to Relationship Hero a few months ago when I was going through a tough patch in my own relationship. After beingness lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to become it back on rails.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
In only a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship motorbus and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
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4) He doesn't enquire almost you
At the same fourth dimension, pay attention to how much interest he shows in your ain life.
If a guy likes you lot and wants to exist with you, then he's going to desire to get to know you ameliorate and dive into your personal life.
Think back to those questions we mentioned above. Does he enquire about your family? Almost your siblings? Most your upbringing? Does he even care what you're getting up to on the weekend?
A lack of interest is a big no-no in a relationship.
He's probable using you for another reason. Take a step dorsum from the relationship and so you tin can see this for yourself.
5) He doesn't protect you
When a man respects a adult female, he'll go out of his way to protect her. Having protective instincts is very natural for a man.
The common ways a man will protect a adult female they care about include:
- When you go somewhere shady or dangerous, he always tries to go with you
- If someone is talking bad about you, he steps up and defends you
- If you ever demand help for any reason, he'll always lend a manus.
On the flip side, if a man isn't protecting you lot like this and so he'due south not committed to your relationship. He'south using y'all.
However, even if your man isn't protecting you the way he should, there is something y'all tin practise about it.
Yous can trigger his hero instinct.
If yous haven't heard of the hero instinct earlier, it'south a new concept in human relationship psychology that's generating a lot of buzz at the moment.
What it boils down to is that men have a biological urge to protect the women they want to be with. They want to step up for her and be appreciated for his actions.
In other words, men want to be an everyday hero.
I know it sounds kind of featherbrained. In this day and age, women don't need a "hero" to protect them.
Just here's the ironic truth. Men do yet need to experience like they are a hero. Because it's congenital into their DNA to seek out a human relationship with a woman that makes them experience like one.
The best thing is that in that location are uncomplicated things you can practice starting today to trigger the hero instinct in the man you care about.
This gratis video reveals the texts you lot can send, phrases you tin can say, and simple things you can practise to bring out this very natural male instinct.
Click here to watch the video.
six) You lot're non going on actual dates
He comes to your house, you go to him, or you lot run into at a bar with mates.
Other than this, there are no actual dates.
He'due south either using you for sex or for a show, or a mix of both!
Some guys simply like having a adept looking girl hanging off their arm while they are out with friends, but aren't interested in a relationship.
Think back to the final 3 times you met upward with this guy. Could y'all count any of them as an actual date?
If non, information technology'southward time to get out now. He's using you and has no involvement in being in a human relationship.
7) He keeps putting off being "exclusive"
Does this guy avert referring to the two of you as 'fellow/girlfriend'? Accept the hint!
Whether y'all've had the conversation, or you're sitting back and waiting for him to commit – it's a good sign he isn't interested in making this permanent.
If you want to know for sure. Ask him! If he's using you then the excuses volition starting time rolling off the tongue:
- I want to take things slow.
- I'1000 but not gear up nevertheless.
- I want to become to know you better.
This is a guy who is publicly fugitive calling you his girlfriend and is likely just using you for sex.
8) He's financially dependent on you lot
You like the guy, so you're all too willing to fork out some actress dollars here and at that place to comprehend him.
But those actress dollars plough into much more than. You lot presently notice you're the ane paying for dinner, drinks and in some cases, he's staying over at yours and relying on you lot for rent as well.
That'due south not a fellow. That'due south a friend who'southward using you.
Start making him pay his own way. If he's interested in you, he'll stick around.
If he's non, he'll disappear fast enough.
9) Y'all've never met his friends
If a guy is into you then he's going to want to brag and prove you off to his friends.
Family can accept a bit more time while he figures out whether or not you're the real deal (relationships can have time), but friends are normally much sooner.
If you're yet to run into his friends – effort asking him about information technology. He simply may non have organized anything yet.
If the excuses roll in and he keeps putting you off, then something is upwardly.
There'south a reason he doesn't want to innovate y'all to his friends – and it's never usually a expert sign of a healthy relationship.
10) He doesn't go out of his way for you lot
When you're dating a guy, you want him to be someone who volition driblet everything if you need him.
Whether you take a funeral to attend or discover yourself stranded on the side of the road with a flat tire – is he there?
Would he show upwards on your doorstep with a box of tissues and a shoulder to lean on when you lot've had a bad day?
Does he go above and beyond to let you know he's at that place for yous, no thing what you need?
Naturally, some guys are merely better at this emotional side compared to others, but if your guy is refusing to help you even when you ask for it – something is off.
He only isn't emotionally invested in you or the human relationship.
If y'all want to nudge your guy in the management of existence at that place for yous more, then you need to trigger his hero instinct.
I mentioned this concept above.
The best thing you can do is watch this excellent costless video from the human relationship skilful who discovered this concept. He reveals the elementary things y'all can do starting today.
By following his simple tips, y'all'll tap into his protective instincts and the most noble aspect of his masculinity. Well-nigh importantly, you'll unleash his deepest feelings of attraction towards y'all.
Here's a link to the video again.
xi) He ghosts you
There's nothing more frustrating than meeting a guy yous really similar, getting to know him, then he only disappears out of the blue.
He ghosts you.
Doesn't respond to your texts, doesn't respond to your calls. You simply don't hear from him.
That is until he comes crawling back a couple of weeks later packed full of excuses.
Don't listen to them!
If he is ghosting you and coming back when suits information technology, information technology'due south because he's using yous.
He's only coming dorsum when he needs or wants something. This guy isn't afraid to hurt your feelings – he'south but thinking about himself in all of this.
Here are some of the common reasons guys pull the ghosting trick:
- He's notwithstanding in a human relationship with someone else.
- He'southward on other dates.
- He's fugitive getting also serious.
- He prefers spending fourth dimension with friends.
It all comes down to the fact he's using you lot. And more than than happy to exit you in the lurch anytime it suits him.
12) He avoids conversations about the future
When you're in a relationship, it'due south natural to talk about your future together.
Whether it's simply planning a future date, a holiday together downwards the runway, or where y'all come across yourselves in the next five years.
It'south a conversation that slips in from time to fourth dimension.
Sometimes the chat is much more direct and simply a question of: "Where is this human relationship going?"
If he's avoiding all these conversations, it's because he's using you and doesn't desire to commit.
If he answers with, "I'1000 non sure", this is another blood-red flag. He's certain, he just doesn't want to tell you the truth. He's using you for sexual practice, money, etc, and has no long-term plans for your relationship.
13) He ignores you in bed
When it comes to the bedroom, it takes two to tango!
That is, unless he is only in information technology to please himself.
Hither are some questions you need to ask yourself:
- Does he ever take charge in the bedroom?
- Does he make an effort to delight y'all?
- Does he mix things upwardly to proceed information technology interesting for both of y'all?
- Does he care whether or not y'all climax?
If the human activity is one-sided so it's likely he'southward just using you for sex. He knows what he wants out of it, and isn't wasting any fourth dimension trying to please y'all at the same fourth dimension.
Time to send him on his way.
14) He avoids seeing you if sex isn't possible
This has to exist ane of the clearest signs that you are simply being used for sexual practice.
If he won't brand the effort to come and see you – mean solar day or night – unless sexual activity is on the cards, so it's pretty piece of cake to piece of work out what he wants.
You lot tin can easily exam this one too. Ask him out to an event with yous. Then tell him that you take plans with girlfriends later on the result.
Is he swell to come and relish the event with yous? Or does the fact you have to run off after and can't please him belongings him back from proverb yep?
You lot'll have your answer straight away!
15) You don't feel special
Sometimes, whether or not a guy is using you can come up down to a gut feeling.
Recall nearly how he treats you lot – both when yous're out and about and when you lot're lone.
Is he kind?
Is he considerate?
Does he intendance what y'all are thinking or feeling?
Does he want y'all to be comfy and cared for?
These are all signs of a guy who likes you and wants you to be happy.
If they're missing from your relationship, so it's worth considering whether he's merely using you for something else.
Remember, yous deserve to exist treated better. Don't settle for less! Y'all want a guy who goes out of his way to make sure you lot experience special.
16) He has a bad reputation
We all know the attraction that comes with dating the 'bad guy'.
It may seem like fun, simply it comes at a cost.
If a guy has a bad reputation, it'southward generally for a reason. So think twice before getting into a relationship with him.
If you do get for it, know where yous stand and take the relationship at face up value.
While it's tempting to retrieve you can change him, or that he'll merely have optics for you, this is rarely the case.
Bad boys don't change.
They apply people and they become what they want – y'all'll be no exception.
Before you start dating, enquire your friends and his friends what he'due south like equally a guy. Get some other opinions on his grapheme then you lot know what yous're getting into.
17) He won't permit you near his telephone
Nosotros can all get a little protective of our phones every now and then. Even if we have nada to hide.
But if he never lets you near his and takes it with him everyone – bathroom, to become a drink… everywhere. It'southward because he doesn't want y'all to see something.
If he is using to you lot and lying to y'all in the process, the way he acts effectually his telephone is a certain sign.
A loyal guy who isn't using you will be absent about where they leave their phone. They'll chuck it on the burrow, exit it on the kitchen bench, or even forget where it is.
A guy who is using y'all volition never leave it out of his sight.
He may have other girls on the side he is keeping from you, or peradventure in another committed human relationship.
If your guy always seems to take his phone glued to him, something else might be going on.
18) He turns up uninvited
While having your young man plow upwards on your doorstep isn't a bad thing. If he'due south constantly crashing at yours and going in and out as he likes – he just might be taking advantage of you.
Whether he can't afford his own place, doesn't have a job, or was kicked out of home, he shouldn't simply assume he tin live at yours.
He's using you lot in this case for stability. A identify he can crash, without having to pay for information technology, coming and going every bit he likes.
If you're happy for him to be at that place, make sure you set some boundaries. Recognise what'south happening and make it work for both of you. Information technology may fifty-fifty hateful asking him to flake in for some rent while he'due south there.
19) There's someone else
Information technology'south a sinking feeling when yous notice you're non the only i in a relationship. But it happens.
There are plenty of scenarios that could be played out:
- He'due south got a girlfriend who doesn't put out. Using you lot on the side for sex.
- He'due south got multiple women at the aforementioned fourth dimension and isn't looking to commit.
- He'south using you lot to get another woman he's interested in.
At any sign that another adult female is involved, it'south time to run. Zilch proficient can come from that.
20) He makes yous pay
I know, I know, we alive in the modern age. A girl is allowed to pay her way without it being suspicious.
This is true! It's absolutely true!
But, occasionally, a guy volition desire to treat her. Even if information technology's to some popcorn at the movie, or a elementary coffee while you're out.
If your guy insists on paying your manner through everything and is never willing to foot the beak, this is a warning sign.
This is a skilful indication he's treating you similar a friend – with benefits.
He's not trying to romance you or win yous over.
He's not trying to show y'all he cares about you lot.
He's not treating you with much respect at all.
He'south after one thing and one thing merely, and he'due south non willing to pay more than than his fair share in order to go it.
21) Yous experience similar he is
Only you can pick up on those small, piddling details that make you feel like he'due south using you.
If you think he's using yous, and you're non feeling happy in the relationship, then it'south time to get out.
Don't waste product your time on someone who barely gives you a 2nd idea. You deserve and so much more!
If you're non feeling comfortable in a relationship and find yourself questioning whether or not he cares, that should be plenty to convince you lot it's not working.
Mr. Correct is out there waiting for you. And he doesn't program on taking advantage of you in the process. It's time to movement on and find him.
Concord out for him, because once yous find this guy, everything will feel correct and you won't find yourself questioning whether or non he's using y'all.
How to change your relationship for good
You lot've read through the signs and it's clear your man is using you.
Information technology'due south the last thing everyone wants to discover nearly their relationship. Only yous don't accept to merely sit dorsum and permit him.
You have 3 choices:
- Leave things the way they are (which isn't off-white on y'all).
- Leave him.
- Trigger his hero instinct.
If yous dearest your human being, then your relationship might be i that's worth salvaging. If that's the case, it's time to make some changes.
No one deserves to exist used in a relationship.
Earlier in the article, I touched on this concept called the hero instinct.
It might sound like a foreign idea to yous, later on all, y'all may not need a hero in your life. Just if y'all trigger this instinct in your man and simply make him feel similar he's your everyday hero, your relationship will be changed for the ameliorate.
This free video reveals the texts you can send, phrases you can say, and simple things y'all tin exercise to bring out this very natural male instinct.
One time y'all watch this video, you will exist able to flip the human relationship in your favor.
Your man wants to protect you. He wants to feel needed and essential in your life. He wants that connection.
By offering information technology to him, and triggering this biological urge of yours, he volition commit to you and the days of him using y'all will be in the by.
Once the hero instinct is triggered, he will fall into the human relationship head first and won't look back.
Sounds too practiced to be true, right?
This concept is a relatively knew one, and if you ask me, it's one of the best kept secrets of the human relationship earth.
And y'all can make it happen today.
Click hither to picket the splendid video.
Can a relationship double-decker help you lot likewise?
If you want specific advice on your state of affairs, information technology can be very helpful to speak to a relationship omnibus.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months agone, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my human relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for and so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my human relationship and how to become it dorsum on track.
If you oasis't heard of Human relationship Hero before, it's a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In only a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown abroad by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my motorbus was.
Click here to get started.
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How to Know if He Is Just Using You
Source: https://hackspirit.com/signs-hes-using-you/
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